The Senseless Struggle To Fit In. In Life

This post started out as a telegram I received from Willie. I started ranting about some shit, and well. here it goes.

Willie kicks it off with a song.

I respond…

8 Mile Poster

I don’t know about rap much any more. That song is good. Truth. From the heart. But it’s the reason I took down the 8 mile / Eminem poster in my room. Even though 8 mile is an awesome story, the imagery of it is someone who is trapped, or a victim of their environment. They are in a constant state of trying to escape. The poster doesn’t change, so when I look at the poster. I identify or empathize with a person who is a victim trying to make it. indefinitely.

The only solution is to take down the poster and just see yourself as someone who is making progress. constantly building.

And so the same goes with the music you listen to. so when he raps about being in a trapped state, or always being surrounded by shitty things. I just sort of glance at it, but don’t identify with it. I may attach it to something in my past. cause that would be a shitty life to live currently.

Your present moment needs to be congruent with where you’re headed.


I look at d12 now, and I just think its junk music. and dumb. But I know why I loved it back then. school was a complete waste of time, I was just looking for ways to kill time or empathize with something.

I actually used to judge a video games goodness by how much time it sank. Like Christ! That’s terrible, and that’s school for ya.

‘Cause you cant take control of your life in that environment. You know nothing matters for 3 years. Your not living your life, your a byproduct of someone elses, your just taking orders from people. It’s like self destructive behavior. A disconnection, a mental playground. School doesn’t let you do anything your own way. School takes our balls away.

Mental Traps

But as I say this, I can’t fall victim to that mindset either, that school somehow still affects my life. Gotta let it go like that painbody stuff Tolle talks about. The past doesn’t exist.

/rant (then i start to write more on the subject for blog)

And so even our friends can keep us in a place. Keeping up appearances, but not changing much. This hierarchy or whatever social construct we have is enforced or reinforced every time we meet up. So if someone changes in some way what happens? They no longer fit. and it is uncomfortable to not fit in. but it is necessary to growing as a person.


So I conclude that taking breaks from friends is healthy. As you get the freedom to move freely through life. And experience new things.

So my thought process is, are we really having a good time, or are we just reinforcing where we fit in, in this life.

What do we truly value more? Fitting in, or doing what we want.

Friday nights start to feel like an escape to me. Or an empathization of this ‘struggle’ of life. Because I want to explore new things. Behind the knee jerk reaction of clinging onto something… it’s truly what I want to do. Even though it is scary. It’s what we need to do. and everyone else should do the same.

And I am not dissing any friend by saying this stuff, like someone is bringing someone else down. All our friends have mad talent, smarts, and ability.

Mad Talent

In fact all people have mad talent. But most people will never realize this because they let school tell them what talent is, and what forms it comes in.

This ‘body’ that is the group. This collective being. What’s controlling it? Directing it? Where is it taking us? I don’t know. Are we letting the world feed us activities to do? Are we waiting for another person to tell us where to go?

Fitting In To The Grave

That’s how people fail in life. Always following / compromising and trying to fit into whatever situation they are put in. Basically begging for someone to put them in a place. Because fitting in is taught from families, early school, later school, and work. They taught you to put your wants aside and fit in. and the only person that loses is you. because you let them.

You Will Never Fit In

Until you pop your head out of the sand and realize this shit. You don’t need to fit in, and the truth is you never will fit in.

You are unique in ways no one can match. So how could anyone else know what you want out of your life? It’s your job to figure it out. and start living it.

Or am I losing my mind? … … …uh oh… do I desire a sense of togetherness again? Do ‘we’ follow eachother?


The desire is to simply be heard, and for everyone to understand in their separate way. What’s true for someone doesn’t have to be true for everyone.

I heard this Asha guy say that the more ‘together’ we try to be, the more alone we become.

I get it.

Lone Samurais Walking The Earth

2011 We Going Hard

The beauty of the internet is really starting to flourish. Seems like you can have any interest and have a full blown community around it. If it isn’t there you can create it. The good shit rises to the top and the bad stuff sinks. No bullshit sponsorships anymore. The people have the voice and are the true gatekeepers. The big companies will struggle to survive if they don’t evolve.

The niches grow smaller, more refined, and rich. the creativity is rewarded. feedback is instant. It’s different, and good. The communities that support. The music just sounds so fuckin’ good nowadays. It’s a direct result of smaller artists making new waves, getting direct feedback, and collaborations. It evolves so quickly.

Advertising is the name of the game, and all the eye balls are going online. They will see the value in it.

Pick your niche and go hard.

KiWiKaKi Shows How To Use A Mothership

I have been watching a lot of Protoss vs Zerg lately. I get sick when i see the same ole gateway unit struggle. Micro battles seem to be a coin flip to determine the winner. It usually depends on whether the toss can hit force-fields right or not. I don’t like gateway play because it just looks like a constant struggle for the toss.

I like watching a game with a forge expand, and stargates. Whenever toss does this build it seems like they are rarely under pressure. It was the same story with sc1, protoss air shuts down map control – the passive vision of the overlords.

Check out this game: KiWiKaKi vs Lalush

The protoss can harass without committing any units.

The late game of this replay is awesome. Kiwi uses a combination of speed voids, phoenixes, and colossi. The voids are mobile enough to hit an expo before the zerg can engage him. And once the zerg engages him, he uses the motherships recall ability, transporting them safely back to his main army.

Extremely effective. I will also add that protoss air can be upgraded way faster than zerg air, which is why it is difficult for a group of mutas to destroy a group of voids and phoenixes.

Hard Counter Expand

What the hey, talk some shit about Starcraft games.

I got rolled by a terran and HE says “gg”, Rahhhh!…, i hate that shit. because he didnt even scout me, it’s like he is just playing by himself… how could that be a gg? so I told him off, and left.

So then I played a zerg on scrap station, which was more interactive. He opened with roaches and I scouted the den, so I put down a robo, got some stalkers and my immortal barely popped in time to finish the roaches off, they prolly took out 6-10 probes too. I also put down a stargate when my immortal was building. He could have scouted it with his roaches, I am unsure if he saw it.

He also took out my cybernetics core, my warpgate research wasn’t ready.

So then I built an addition immortal, and eventually went straight to his base with a warp prism with 2 immortals, and a +1 air attack VoidBANKS. This little cost effective troop took out his main with ease, I had to target down the spire before it popped.

Meanwhile at his expo, he manages to get up the hydralisk den, I get there in time to kill a couple queens, he still has a good drone count.

I set up my expo. and put down my cybernetics core (lol bad), put down like 6 gateways and researched warpgates, I had no ground army so I harassed with the void to keep him at his base.

So then it works out and I crushed his hydra push with speed zealots. Then I continued to harass with a void, got dark templar and pushed with the combined zealots and it caught him off guard!

Summary: Force hydras and expand, speedlots > slow hydras, next tech you choose is the game breaker.

I think you need to go stargate against zerg, especially one who knows how to use banelings. they just dominate ground so much.

Side note: added captcha comments so bots don’t post comments.

The Passion For Strategy

Something clicks when I think about starcraft strategies.

Thinking of different methods, builds, ideas actually takes a lot of energy. You don’t even notice how much energy it takes because thinking about it and figuring things out is something we enjoy. But we can apply the same energy in other methods…

It clicks when I’m so involved in thought, and I just think “dam, I shouldn’t be thinking this hard about a computer game… I should be spending this energy thinking about how to *blank*”.

Swap in *blank* for something that is real world applicable and constructive. I’m talkin’ BUSINESS, real world economy, and bank rolls. You spend endless amounts of energy to counter roaches in mutas, and when you do, you crush hard and feel good. but that’s it. Making money is 95 percent mental. So if you devise a business plan, strategy, and execute, you get money. So then I gotta ask myself what is a better game, starcraft or RL business? And I think it is RL business because of the changes you see, skills you develop, and people you affect.

But we weren’t raised or taught to think about solving problems in RL and profiting. So it’s not natural to us. I believe it is natural and we have unlearnt it. We are taught to be factory workers, take orders, and enjoy ourselves elsewhere.

Since the age of 8 we have had that passionate side of us that enjoys using our superior mental capabilities for rewards… wasted on video games that bring nothing on the side of enjoyment.

The idea that you could have enjoyment, mental engagement, and money from the same activity is absolutely possible. But we were systematically taught this was unattainable, not for us, or crazy.

Be Thankful

I went to this guys church, a man who travels Canada and spreads the good word. He doesn’t ask for money on his TV shows that air every morning. He doesn’t charge admission for his entertaining and engaging sermons. He sells DVD’s with his messages in them, available at his shows or sermons. He’s been doing this for about 7 years.

He told us that if you want to be truly happy, you must develop an attitude of gratitude.

He told us that being thankful is a learned feeling. You can learn to feel thankful for everything you have, everything that’s around you.

There is also the Law of Reciprocation. If someone does something good for me, I feel obligated to do something good for them.

Being in a constant attitude of gratitude, you will naturally feel the need to give back, or to contribute.

The Attitude of Gratitude and the Law of Reciprocation combination is the most powerful force in the world. It will absolutely consume your life as it does with anyone who is authentically successful.

You can even meditate and focus on simply feeling this feeling of gratitude without thinking about anything specific. Take short pauses throughout the day to feel thankful.

Be thankful, and become unstoppable.

Introductions, get em over with!

My name is Clayton Kashuba, nicknamed Shuba.

What you will hear from me is rants on philosophy and life, outlooks, rants on people. I mostly try to keep it positive, but I may explode.

My goals in life are simple. make a lot of money, maintain good relationships, maintain high spirits, maintain development of skills and learning. physical fitness!

The thing I noticed about life is that we literally choose what kind of world we live in. We can choose to be a victim and live in a harsh world, we can choose to be afraid and live in a dangerous world, we can choose to be happy and live in a fun world, we can choose to be responsible and live in a world we create everyday.

Our rewards in life will be directly related to our contributions.

That is the world to be lived in.