Grinding the Present Moment

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Just dropping some little bombs. I don’t have any bunker busters at the moment.

Mental noise: I keep noticing how much noise there is in my head. Whenever I notice it, it disappears. This is a type of meditation that anyone can practice throughout the day. It’s important to note that having silence in your head does not make you a zombie. It makes you relaxed but more alert. Carrying a head full of noise does the opposite: it makes you tense and distracted. Being tense and distracted puts limits on what you can accomplish.

Grinding the present: I find it useful to remind myself that the present moment is the only place where anything gets done.

Free will & spontaneity: Back in the day, I busted some philosophy speed-runs with Shuba and his kin. The conclusion was that free will does not exist. Our brain is a calculator that solves problems by choosing the best option according to what we value. For example, a person who values standing out in a crowd is more likely to dress in unusual clothes, but their decisions are still made according to an underlying process which they have no control over. If you ask them why they are wearing a sombrero in February, they might tell you they are a free spirit when it comes to fashion. If free will does not exist, then they are simply bound by differently-assigned variables, and the sombrero is the end result of these different values.

This might sound like a depressing perspective on life, one which paints humans as souls imprisoned within robotic shells. Each human pursues whatever comes naturally to them; what is natural for one person is different for the next. Committing crimes comes naturally to some people. After waking up in jail, their brain might re-assign certain values and a “new person” may emerge from a brain that previously valued drugs and money above all else.

This is what I really wanted to discuss: does a person actually emerge from their thoughts? Your thoughts are a reflection of your values, which are not consciously controlled, and so the self which emerges from our thoughts is also uncontrolled. This artificial self is sometimes called the ego. It exists as an interface between the brain and the outside world. It is a structure of repetitive thoughts. When a person’s values change, their thoughts change, and so the ego changes; a “new person” emerges with a new purpose in life.

“Free will doesn’t exist?! You can’t take my freedom!”
The point is that (1) not only does free will not exist, but (2) there was never a self to “possess” free will in the first place.

” … First you take my freedom, and now you’re saying I don’t even exist?!”
Your true identity is inseparable from you because it is you. It cannot be taken away. The ego, on the other hand, is just a thought which disappears every night when you go to bed. The ego’s structure appears rock solid because it is so repetitive. When we examine this repetitive structure, however, we see that it is just mental noise. How could mental noise ever hope to have free will?

When illusions like the ego and free will are washed away, what’s left is real freedom – the selfless and perfect way of the universe.

World-building 101: Yo, enough of this pansy-ass philosophical mumbo-jumbo. Let’s get back into the real world so we can start building fake worlds. This is a new branch of learning for me, so it’s not really World-building 101. It’s more like World-building for Pre-schoolers. I’ve already put this project on hold so I can finish some older stuff, but I thought it’d be fun to post some noobfoolery in action.

(1) First, I used everyone’s favorite artsy program to make a 400 x 400 pixel masterpiece. Within moments, my phone was ringing off the hook. Every major art institute in North America was trying to throw scholarships my way, and I hadn’t even uploaded the mother yet.

Actually, I didn’t have a phone while making this.

(2) Next, I used Torque 3D’s terrain builder to upload my image as a texture. I slapped that beast down on top of some sand.

When creating worlds, it is important to nod your head to sick beats.

(3) Torque 3D has a default player character that you can use to explore right away.

Dude, you said we were going on a magical adventure… and now this?

The grass is the only thing that I created in that screenshot. It was a fun first step, and I’m looking forward to more advanced stuff like programming in TorqueScript and rendering my own 3D models.

Back to the grindstone.

The Senseless Struggle To Fit In. In Life

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This post started out as a telegram I received from Willie. I started ranting about some shit, and well. here it goes.

Willie kicks it off with a song.

I respond…

8 Mile Poster

I don’t know about rap much any more. That song is good. Truth. From the heart. But it’s the reason I took down the 8 mile / Eminem poster in my room. Even though 8 mile is an awesome story, the imagery of it is someone who is trapped, or a victim of their environment. They are in a constant state of trying to escape. The poster doesn’t change, so when I look at the poster. I identify or empathize with a person who is a victim trying to make it. indefinitely.

The only solution is to take down the poster and just see yourself as someone who is making progress. constantly building.

And so the same goes with the music you listen to. so when he raps about being in a trapped state, or always being surrounded by shitty things. I just sort of glance at it, but don’t identify with it. I may attach it to something in my past. cause that would be a shitty life to live currently.

Your present moment needs to be congruent with where you’re headed.

D12

I look at d12 now, and I just think its junk music. and dumb. But I know why I loved it back then. school was a complete waste of time, I was just looking for ways to kill time or empathize with something.

I actually used to judge a video games goodness by how much time it sank. Like Christ! That’s terrible, and that’s school for ya.

‘Cause you cant take control of your life in that environment. You know nothing matters for 3 years. Your not living your life, your a byproduct of someone elses, your just taking orders from people. It’s like self destructive behavior. A disconnection, a mental playground. School doesn’t let you do anything your own way. School takes our balls away.

Mental Traps

But as I say this, I can’t fall victim to that mindset either, that school somehow still affects my life. Gotta let it go like that painbody stuff Tolle talks about. The past doesn’t exist.

/rant (then i start to write more on the subject for blog)

And so even our friends can keep us in a place. Keeping up appearances, but not changing much. This hierarchy or whatever social construct we have is enforced or reinforced every time we meet up. So if someone changes in some way what happens? They no longer fit. and it is uncomfortable to not fit in. but it is necessary to growing as a person.

Conclusion

So I conclude that taking breaks from friends is healthy. As you get the freedom to move freely through life. And experience new things.

So my thought process is, are we really having a good time, or are we just reinforcing where we fit in, in this life.

What do we truly value more? Fitting in, or doing what we want.

Friday nights start to feel like an escape to me. Or an empathization of this ‘struggle’ of life. Because I want to explore new things. Behind the knee jerk reaction of clinging onto something… it’s truly what I want to do. Even though it is scary. It’s what we need to do. and everyone else should do the same.

And I am not dissing any friend by saying this stuff, like someone is bringing someone else down. All our friends have mad talent, smarts, and ability.

Mad Talent

In fact all people have mad talent. But most people will never realize this because they let school tell them what talent is, and what forms it comes in.

This ‘body’ that is the group. This collective being. What’s controlling it? Directing it? Where is it taking us? I don’t know. Are we letting the world feed us activities to do? Are we waiting for another person to tell us where to go?

Fitting In To The Grave

That’s how people fail in life. Always following / compromising and trying to fit into whatever situation they are put in. Basically begging for someone to put them in a place. Because fitting in is taught from families, early school, later school, and work. They taught you to put your wants aside and fit in. and the only person that loses is you. because you let them.

You Will Never Fit In

Until you pop your head out of the sand and realize this shit. You don’t need to fit in, and the truth is you never will fit in.

You are unique in ways no one can match. So how could anyone else know what you want out of your life? It’s your job to figure it out. and start living it.

Or am I losing my mind? … … …uh oh… do I desire a sense of togetherness again? Do ‘we’ follow eachother?

no

The desire is to simply be heard, and for everyone to understand in their separate way. What’s true for someone doesn’t have to be true for everyone.

I heard this Asha guy say that the more ‘together’ we try to be, the more alone we become.

I get it.

Lone Samurais Walking The Earth

2011 We Going Hard

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The beauty of the internet is really starting to flourish. Seems like you can have any interest and have a full blown community around it. If it isn’t there you can create it. The good shit rises to the top and the bad stuff sinks. No bullshit sponsorships anymore. The people have the voice and are the true gatekeepers. The big companies will struggle to survive if they don’t evolve.

The niches grow smaller, more refined, and rich. the creativity is rewarded. feedback is instant. It’s different, and good. The communities that support. The music just sounds so fuckin’ good nowadays. It’s a direct result of smaller artists making new waves, getting direct feedback, and collaborations. It evolves so quickly.

Advertising is the name of the game, and all the eye balls are going online. They will see the value in it.

Pick your niche and go hard.

KiWiKaKi Shows How To Use A Mothership

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I have been watching a lot of Protoss vs Zerg lately. I get sick when i see the same ole gateway unit struggle. Micro battles seem to be a coin flip to determine the winner. It usually depends on whether the toss can hit force-fields right or not. I don’t like gateway play because it just looks like a constant struggle for the toss.

I like watching a game with a forge expand, and stargates. Whenever toss does this build it seems like they are rarely under pressure. It was the same story with sc1, protoss air shuts down map control – the passive vision of the overlords.

Check out this game: KiWiKaKi vs Lalush

The protoss can harass without committing any units.

The late game of this replay is awesome. Kiwi uses a combination of speed voids, phoenixes, and colossi. The voids are mobile enough to hit an expo before the zerg can engage him. And once the zerg engages him, he uses the motherships recall ability, transporting them safely back to his main army.

Extremely effective. I will also add that protoss air can be upgraded way faster than zerg air, which is why it is difficult for a group of mutas to destroy a group of voids and phoenixes.

A new frontier…

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I’ve been tasked through one of my classes with designing and implementing an application that relies on a P2P protocol. I’ve done work programming a server for BitTorrent in previous assignments but I’m looking for a little public insight on this as to what I should do.

  • Is there something that people are looking for that they need coded?
  • Is there features in an application that you want but haven’t been able to find yet?
  • Is there a server feature that you wish would just come out already?

Let me know folks. I’m looking for some great ideas for something that I’m really looking forward to doing. Remember, this isn’t limited to BitTorrent’s protocol as P2P encompasses a wide range of applications and features. Shoot and I’ll see what ideas I like most.

Hard Counter Expand

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What the hey, talk some shit about Starcraft games.

I got rolled by a terran and HE says “gg”, Rahhhh!…, i hate that shit. because he didnt even scout me, it’s like he is just playing by himself… how could that be a gg? so I told him off, and left.

So then I played a zerg on scrap station, which was more interactive. He opened with roaches and I scouted the den, so I put down a robo, got some stalkers and my immortal barely popped in time to finish the roaches off, they prolly took out 6-10 probes too. I also put down a stargate when my immortal was building. He could have scouted it with his roaches, I am unsure if he saw it.

He also took out my cybernetics core, my warpgate research wasn’t ready.

So then I built an addition immortal, and eventually went straight to his base with a warp prism with 2 immortals, and a +1 air attack VoidBANKS. This little cost effective troop took out his main with ease, I had to target down the spire before it popped.

Meanwhile at his expo, he manages to get up the hydralisk den, I get there in time to kill a couple queens, he still has a good drone count.

I set up my expo. and put down my cybernetics core (lol bad), put down like 6 gateways and researched warpgates, I had no ground army so I harassed with the void to keep him at his base.

So then it works out and I crushed his hydra push with speed zealots. Then I continued to harass with a void, got dark templar and pushed with the combined zealots and it caught him off guard!

Summary: Force hydras and expand, speedlots > slow hydras, next tech you choose is the game breaker.

I think you need to go stargate against zerg, especially one who knows how to use banelings. they just dominate ground so much.

Side note: added captcha comments so bots don’t post comments.

The Passion For Strategy

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Something clicks when I think about starcraft strategies.

Thinking of different methods, builds, ideas actually takes a lot of energy. You don’t even notice how much energy it takes because thinking about it and figuring things out is something we enjoy. But we can apply the same energy in other methods…

It clicks when I’m so involved in thought, and I just think “dam, I shouldn’t be thinking this hard about a computer game… I should be spending this energy thinking about how to *blank*”.

Swap in *blank* for something that is real world applicable and constructive. I’m talkin’ BUSINESS, real world economy, and bank rolls. You spend endless amounts of energy to counter roaches in mutas, and when you do, you crush hard and feel good. but that’s it. Making money is 95 percent mental. So if you devise a business plan, strategy, and execute, you get money. So then I gotta ask myself what is a better game, starcraft or RL business? And I think it is RL business because of the changes you see, skills you develop, and people you affect.

But we weren’t raised or taught to think about solving problems in RL and profiting. So it’s not natural to us. I believe it is natural and we have unlearnt it. We are taught to be factory workers, take orders, and enjoy ourselves elsewhere.

Since the age of 8 we have had that passionate side of us that enjoys using our superior mental capabilities for rewards… wasted on video games that bring nothing on the side of enjoyment.

The idea that you could have enjoyment, mental engagement, and money from the same activity is absolutely possible. But we were systematically taught this was unattainable, not for us, or crazy.

That’s Halo, don’t worry

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My mind is fried. Seriously. It is so far up my own ass at this moment that I think I need to step back and discuss something a little more light hearted than coding. Surely if you follow SC2 pro gaming in the least you heard about Huk doing an extraordinary rush against Select at MLG in Washington D.C. (I’ll apologise for the video’s voice-over. I linked the video with my sound off). I mean, it sort of is the latest little meme surrounding the scene right now. What you may not be familiar with is how it is being perceived by the fans and other players. I personally want to touch on what Idra has said in response, “It was absolutely idiotic.” And I agree with him.

I mean, Idra is sort of infamous already for his “trollish” attitude towards other players and we’ve all come to terms with it by now. But this comment of his sparked a minor debate between me and other individuals over at Reddit. So why do I agree with him?

Gimmicky/flashy play is not interesting to watch in a competitive environment. It certainly has its place but Huk essentially threw the game with that tech build. Why is it entertaining to observe someone, in all intents and purposes, give up? Sure, there was an off chance that the Mothership pulled through and swung the game in his favour but what were the chances? Incredibly low if you can assume that Select wasn’t going to do something equally stupid.

I equate the scenario to a professional sports team marching onto the field and doing a dance while one player attempts to sneak the puck/ball behind the other team’s defence. Sure, if you manage to completely stun the opponent the strategy might work, but there’s a very slim chance of that occurring.

His choice to go so far off the groomed path didn’t provide any form of innovation to the competitive scene. People speak of the event now as if it was revolutionary; something that changed the way professionals will view the match-up in games to come. Will it? Fuck no! This will be a softly spoken event in a month’s time only being revisited for a short period when they match up against each other again later.

Like I said previously, I took part in a debate on Reddit regarding this topic and seemed to be on the minority. What do you think?

Who is your hero? Part II

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“Challenge something that is way beyond your abilities.”
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A quote from one of my favourite mangaka, Takehiko Inoue. He is probably known best for his basketball comics, but has also spent around the last twelve years drawing the hugely popular Vagabond series. It’s a fictionalized telling of the life of legendary swordsman Miyamoto Musashi. The series is due to wrap up in about a year, but with big projects there are often delays.

To me, Takehiko represents someone who has dedicated his life to drawing. Despite being one of the world’s best, he still struggles with constant deadlines, all-nighters, and getting his characters to act the way they should when he puts them down on paper. According to him, the quality of his work depends on the “purity of his soul” when he sits down to draw; he is most successful when his mind is relaxed and able to express itself clearly. His art is both inspiring and entertaining.